Sometime before actually becoming pregnant, someone I really don’t remember anymore showed me a pregnancy announcement video from the US on Youtube. That was a veeeery bad idea! I started watching lots of them in my free time. I laughed and I cried a lot out of excitement.
Americans are geniuses when it comes to those kind of spectacles! I wanted that, too! But remember those memes/videos about great expectation and way-far-from-it-reality? Well in this case, I felt like one of them. I realized it’s not so easy to orchestrate a proper pregnancy announcement the American way: you need a good camera position, fairly good acting skills or at least a good poker face, and eventually a good partner in crime.
I had none of those. On the other hand, telling this big news in Germany is way different than in Colombia. In Germany, people are very cautious when revealing a pregnancy. They prefer to wait until the end of the first trimester to announce it in case something unexpected happens with the baby. They keep it secret from colleagues, boss, friends and relatives until they feel prepared to tell. At least this is my impression. At home in Colombia, on the other hand, people are just so happy that they can’t wait to tell the whole world that they are expecting and family and friends burst in excitement.
I found myself having to reveal the news in a very singular way, even to my husband, and in different stages. And this is how it went (Please excuse me for the length of this post, but the beautiful memories are definitely worth it!).
To myself
Remember that I mentioned riding a roller coaster in my last post? Well, that is how I started to suspect about the pregnancy. Call me crazy but already after the second attempt of baby making I started feeling dizzy several times a day. I didn’t pay attention to it because I had been in Brussels for a couple of days and I tend to get dizzy when flying. But after a week or so the dizzyness was my loyal companion for the weeks to come and that in a very accurate way: everyday, about four in the afternoon, during home office, I felt as if someone was shaking me around for minutes and I felt a stabbing pain in my belly right after it. I just didn’t want to believe it but somehow kept the illusion...
I could not live with the uncertainty anymore and a couple of days before my period should actually bother me again, I bought a pregnancy test that allegedly works before menstruation. I secretly tried it on Sunday morning. According to the instructions, the result should appear within the first three minutes. It didn’t, so I took a shower but didn’t toss it. When I went out of the shower I took another look at it in disbelief but this time there was a very faint „positive“ line. I was speechless (and in my case that’s not very common), and sweaty and happy and nervous! But somehow, at the same time, I didn’t want to believe it, since I had my doubts about that test. I pretended that nothing had happened and decided to wait for my period anytime in the next two days.
On Tuesday, I flew to Istambul to meet my mom who was attending a medical congress there. That would be our first mom-and-daughter-vacation in a very long time. And imagine! Despite my disbelief, I really dreamed of having the opportunity of telling my mom in person that she would become a grandma soon. During the whole trip, especially when carrying my heavy luggage around, I thought to myself that with all that physical activity there would be no way that baby would stick to the uterus! We arrived very late in Istambul and were all exhausted. And there was no signal of my period other than the usual abdominal pain. Back in Berlin, I had bought a couple of different pregnancy tests because even on vacation, I needed to know! The next morning, after mom left for her meetings, I took a first one. Positive. I still couldn’t believe it. I mastered my pocker face all day long and invented all kind of excuses when alcohol was offered. The following morning I tried the second test. More than positive! That was it! The baby was a reality!!!
To my mom
Now, only two people in this world know me best: my mom, for obvious reasons, and my husband. She wouldn’t buy that I was not drinking any alcohol during vacation. So, I needed to handle quickly to tell her what was going on. The night before we had already had a funny moment when skyping with my father. When he asked her how I was, she just answered “well, looking a little full” which means fat… I reacted by saying “but mom, I’m just full of love”. She just laughed at me because she had no idea!
The morning after taking the second test, I rushed out to prepare for the announcement for the grandma-to-be. I had no idea of Istambul but luckily we were staying at a hotel in a very commercial area around Taksim Place. My only idea was to buy a little onesie in newborn size and a card. It was quite difficult. After entering all baby stores in the area (there were really not that many), I finally found one basic onesie. I went back to the hotel, wrote the card as if the baby was writing it, and wrapped the tests in the onesie. I hid everything in my underwear bag and went to meet mom and the rest of the group for the second city tour. Thank God this time no one offered me wine!
Back at the hotel, I tried to set-up the Ipad to record the moment when I should tell my mom. Epic fail! Sometimes, you’re just too dumb and clumsy for some things. This is one of those… Anyway, I gave up on it and decided to make it a very intimate moment. As mom came back from the bathroom ready to go to bed, I asked her to sit down and close her eyes because I had one more special present for her. I gave her the onesie and the card and I think it took her some seconds to realize what was happening. She was so happy; we both were so emotional! We agreed not to tell my father or anyone until the pregnancy was confirmed by my Obgyn. We didn’t want him to worry about and I wanted to be prepared for all his medical questions. But from that moment on, mom took even more care of me, it was such a great feeling. I felt so blessed and lucky for sharing such a precious moment with her!
To my DILF (Masculine for MILF)
I really felt bad for not telling my husband about the pregnancy as the very first person. But I didn’t want to announce it on the phone or on skype. I wanted to see his reaction, his face, no matter how it would be, and enjoy that moment together. It was more than fair, isn’t it? When talking to him during my whole vacation I bit my tongue for almost two weeks! When I finally arrived back in Berlin, I drove to our apartment, took a shower and got ready to prepare for the announcement. Lucky me, it was Friday afternoon and I still had a couple of ours until he would be back from work.
I went to a library and bought two funny books for fathers-to-be, then I bought a card for the “perfect dad” where he was addressed from the baby itself, and a gift bag. Back at the apartment, I gathered all the souvenirs I brought for him, the onesie I used for my mom, the tests, and the baby pacifier in moustache style I had bought long ago just because I found it so funny. I put all the baby related things at the bottom of the bag, the souvenirs on top. And this time, I desisted from filming.
After dinner it was showtime! We sat in the living room. I handed him the gift bag and he started to unpack. When he saw the books he only put them on the coffee table, totally neglecting them. I saw that this was going nowhere and that he didn’t have any clue of what was going on. I told him to keep unpacking and gave him the card. He read it and then he freezed up. He looked at me. I gave him the onesie with the tests. And he just brought out “for real?”, and that several times, looking at me with big eyes, as if those where the only two words he knew. He finally smiled, a bright incredulous smile. We kissed and I think he was completely happy with the news even though he admitted that he kind of felt annoyed for a moment because I had bought again baby-related-stuff without having a baby. From that evening on, he became the most loving and protecting dad I know!
The ghost baby and the announcement to my dad and my brothers (and the entire Colombian population)
I’m glad I did not have to care about getting an appointment with my permanently booked out obgyn since I had to go to a normal gynecological control one week after returning from vacation. I was so looking forward to it, not only because I would finally see and hear the baby for the first time but also because I would feel more comfortable announcing the pregnancy to my dad after having the medical confirmation. For your better understanding of the situation, you need to know that my father is also a physician, in fact he’s a very accurate surgeon and loves to ask questions and get sure that everything is alright.
However, at my doctor’s practice, the baby got stage fright! You could see the amniotic sac but no baby and no hart rate. My doctor kept telling me not to be afraid, that I was definitely pregnant but that it maybe was too early to see much. I was rather disappointed because I had been biting my tongue and keeping the secret to my dad for too long. After all, he had been the most eager one of welcoming a new family generation. I had to wait one more week!
When the day finally arrived, I was more than nervous! And there it was, that tiny thing. The world stopped spinning. I was so proud to take baby’s first picture home! I had to wait for the whole afternoon and part of the evening to finally skype with my parents. Before, I had warned my mom to play surprised. Hubby and I sat in front of the camera and started to talk. I don’t remember what I told them. I just know that I showed them the ultrasound picture and my dad got mute, then he stared at the camera, and started to say very quietly (which is very unusual for him) “she’s pregnant, she’s pregnant”. He wouldn’t move. Then my mom started shaking him and shouting “React! You’re becoming a grandpa!”. And all of the sudden, and as I was expecting, he started to recite what I should do or not.
To that time of the day they were alone at home. But five minutes after we finished the conversation, all my cousins and aunts started writing and congratulating me on WhatsApp. The entire family was so cheerful. Later in the evening my mom told me about my little brother’s reaction. She told me she hadn’t seen that bright grin on his face for a very long time. He even posted it on Twitter!
The next day, I received all kinds of cheerful messages from family members and friends of the family in Colombia and I thanked God that very few of the people I know in Germany would know them. For them, our first decision as parents-to-be was to wait until everything was safe. And it became our Christmas present to the world!