You may remember that while we announced the pregnancy in Colombia kind of soon, for the German part and our circle of friends we waited until Christmas to share the news. The main reason was not worki or anything else, but the little scary movie we were living in for some weeks. And since then, I learn how importart it is to wait until the beginning of the second trimester to let people know.
So the first weeks we had been so happy about the baby news and could not wait until the first ultrasound appointment. After a short trip to Hamburg to visit my brother in the gigantic vessel he was working in to that time, we counted the hours to see the baby for the first time on November 20 in the eleventh week of the pregnancy. My husband (from now on "Hubs") was also very excited and took the morning off to attend the appointment. I have to say, I was also a little nervous, it is very difficult to describe the feeling. You're excited, happy, but at the same time you are hoping that everything is alright, especially after the phantom baby experience.
There I was lying on the litter, Hubs standing beside me. The screen was on. My obgyn doing her work. There it was, the little human being in my body. Its heart beating. For us it was perfect. Suddenly she said there is something that preocupies her a bit. Apparently the lucency of the nuchal fold seemed to thick. But since her ultrasound machine was not exactly state of the art, she would like us to get examined with a proper machine with specialists. Until then, we did not have any clue of what she was talking about. Then she explained that the thickness of the nuchal fold could be an indicator that the baby might have an anomaly, the thicker it looks. One of those anomalies could be trisomy 21, that is, Down Syndrom.
For a second, the world stopped and I saw how Hubs was getting palid and about to faint. The doctor's assistant reached him a chair. I just kept lying on the litter but for some reason I, of all easy to stress persons in the world, kept calm. Since my obgyn is a very good and caring one and we had until then developed a very good relationship, she urged us to get an appointment at a center for prenatal diagnostics and gave us some names. But I remembered that a friend of mine once recomended me one in Charlottemburg, for the case that I would want to get real accurate ultrasound examinations in the twentieth week check, of course, as a private center. We imediately called. They told us they were full for the day. But my doctor, as loving as she is, called again, and begged for us to get an appointment that very day.
So we drove all the way from my obgyn's practice in Pankow to Charlottemburg to the Zentrum für Pränataldiagnostik und Humangenetik Kudamm-199. During the ride, I kept telling myself that everything would be ok. At least, in none of our families there had been a case of down syndrom or other anomalies before, and I was only thirty years old - still young enough.
When we arrived there, we met Dr. Julia Lange, another angel in our way. She asked us a bunch of questions about our genetics or heavy deseases. She explained the different causes of anomalies. Then she examined the baby again with the most incredible ultrasound machine. According to her, the baby's growth looked fine, besides the thing with the nuchal fold. So, in order for us to feel better and make sure that the baby was doing fine, she recommended us to take a blood test for risk calculation and explained the different causes of anomalies and the techniques available to find out if there was one at all.
There were three of them: 1) the chorionic villus sampling to determine chromosomal or genetic disorder by removing a tiny sample of the placenta, 2) the amniocentesis, which is the most common, by examing the amniotic fluid by inserting a needle in your belly, and finally, 3) the PrenaTest, a - to that time - new blood test that helps to find out if there is a Trisomy 21, 18 or 13. The first two are invasive, the first could have been taken ASAP, the second only from the sixteenth week on. I am not sure anymore, but I think the first two could be covered by the insurance or where not very expensive. The third one was extremely expensive to that time with a cost of 835 Euro without any reimbursement. In any case, we would have to wait two weeks to know the facts, no matter which way we wanted to take.
Imagine how confusing that moment was! You wished for a child. Then you get pregnant. Then your parent life with the millions worries start. There are people speaking in medical language, about tests you don't understand but should take for the sake of your child. It is about money, your child's wellbeing and your own mental health! And that only at the beginning of the pregnancy. At the same time, you feel grateful to have all those medical care possibilities. But it is definitely a bunch to take in.
After the ultrasound we were sent to a blood laboratory next door which cooperates with the center for prenatal diagnostics to take the test to figure out the posibilities of my child having a genetic anomaly. The results would be ready the next day, and we would go through them also the next day, after an appointment for psychological counseling the center also offers. Before leaving, the very nice doctor reassured us that everything would be ok and that we should take it slowly since it was still early in the pregnancy and the baby so little that sometimes they cannot tell for sure.
After taking the blood test we finally went home. We had spent the whole day from a to b. When we arrived, the next worry would emerge: should we, and if yes, how to tell our parents what was going on. We agreed that we didn't want to cause a big fuzz and I nor Hubs didn't want to have anybody asking us how things were going, exacerbating our worries of, even, you never know (and this is a very Colombian believe), sending us bad energy. So we agreed to tell only my parents since they were doctors themselves and could help us seeking advice with colleagues at home. The moment I spoke with my mom and my dad, I did not know how to tell about the situation. I know that they, too, would freak out a bit, out of mere worry about how Hubs and I would be feeling. Fortunately, they took it with medical counciousness, if you know what I mean, but also started contacting the best obgyns in the city, including a center for prenatal diagnostics. My mom reassured us that there was nothing to worry about. It was a secret under four eyes.
The next they, we returned to the center for prenatal diagnostics but before seeing Dr. Lange, we met a colleague who spoke to us about genetics and our baby's probability to have any anomalies. According to her, there was little to worry about. When we finally met Dr. Lange, we went through the blood test. The probability for Trisomy 21 was 1 to 583 regarding my background risks and 1 to 119 regarding the current situation. For the other trisomies, the probabilities were very little. She took another ultrasound examination. All fine. Anyways, she told again, that we should meet for another examination some weeks later to check on the baby's development.
Again, she recited the different type of tests. It was so hard to focus on what she was telling me. Since the day before, in my head, I only kept wondering what way we should take, an invasive and less expensive but very accurate test that lets you know not only about trisomies but also any other kind of anomaly, or the very expensive non-invasive one. My thoughts were mainly "should I really let any kind of medical device cross my belly and risk the pregnancy or just take a blood test if Dr. Lange kept telling me that, apart from that nuchal translucency, everything seemed alright?". Don't get me wrong, the amniocentesis has been done forever and is very successful, however those tests always have a margin of risk. But deep in my heart, I felt that everything was ok and the baby was just fine. Back in Colombia, on the other hand, my parents had already talked with experts and, since the Prenatest was not that known there, they recommended to take the amniocentesis. Especially my dad was all for it.
After long deliveration, hubs and I decided to take the Prenatest. We definitely did not want to wait until the sixteenth week or after to do any tests and, most of all, we did not want to risk the pregnancy when "only" a possible trisomy was to be tested. The test was taken on November 27. I went there feeling positive. I felt it in my gut and kept telling myself all the time that everything was going to be just fine, that there was nothing to worry about. Now we just had to wait tfor about two weeks.
On december 10 my phone rang. It was a call from the center for prenatal diagnostics. The world stopped once again. It was nervous about finding out with noone by my side. I sat down and asked what the result were. Negative. No trisomies. What a relieve. "I knew it", I said. The doctor then explained, that, while the nuchal translucency was an indicator of an anomaly, it is also true that a baby's development in the womb in not linear but can also be in stages, like a stair, and that was our case.
I called Hubs and my parents inmediately. Everyone was happy, relieved and assured me that they always knew there was nothing to worry about. My father was still for the amniocentesis, though, and I told him that there was no way I was letting anyone insert a needle in my belly since the baby was perfectly healthy. It felt like we had to celebrate! I still had to pick up the formal results at the center in order to know the other big news the test was going to tell us: the baby's gender. But that's another story folks!
I am so thankful that I was able to follow my gut on this in order to take the right decision. I guess that was the very first time I experienced the so called "maternal intuition". I'm also very helpful to have been surrounded by the best people in the world, my husband giving me all the calm I needed, my parents with all their medical wisdom, contact and prayers, and Dr. Lange with all her kindness, positivity and sensibility so much needed in such a chaotic situation.
I still wonder what would have happened with another kind of test results. What would we have decided. I still don't know the answer. I'm just happy that I managed to keep positive.
The end.